Weekly iTunes "Single of the Week" Review

Welcome, readers! It's time for the iTunes Single of the Week Review.

This week's "Single of the Week:" Daisy by Halfway to Hazard.

[iTunes writers' words follow . . .]

Halfway to Hazard are a duo from southeast Kentucky - Chad Warrix and David Tolliver. This track is a mixture of sweet, harmonized country pop and a big ol' southern rock ballad. The tale within the tune is worth noting - it goes from young love to tragedy and redemption. It also might be the first song to use the phrase "and the day her water broke" in music history.

My review:

Admittedly I know next to nothing about country music, so all I can offer is a general impression of this song. And that impression is ... this song sounds exactly like any other country song I've ever heard. Halfway to Hazard exploits the same old recycled melody, the same old slide guitar harmony, and even that ultra-annoying tendency to vocalize the first note in each measure by ranging in a split second from an octave below to the correct pitch. While this song is not vomit-inducing, I struggled (really, really struggled) to listen to the entire track.

Rating from one to five stars: *

iTunes Library Result:
DELETED

Weekly iTunes "Single of the Week" Review

Welcome, readers! It's time for the iTunes Single of the Week Review.

This week's "Single of the Week:" Born Losers by Matthew Good.

[iTunes writers' words follow . . .]

Matthew Good's brand of reverie and disconcerting personal analysis in song has made him a favorite in Canada for years. His newest album, Hospital Music, is an especially riveting portrait of a man who's been to the edge and back. We're offering you the rumbling, epic folk-rock of "Born Losers" as a free Single of the Week in the hope that you find the time to bring a little Matthew Good into your life. You won't regret it.

My review:

No, you won't regret it. However, unless you're into early R.E.M. then you probably won't be bowled over either. To utilize an overused term by 'tweens ... *meh*

This is plugged-in acoustic folky chorded rock. Got that? Vanilla soft serve ice cream with a few sprinkles. On a plain cone.

**

iTunes Library Result:
KEPT
I might hit the "next" button on my iPod if it rolls around, but maybe not.

Weekly iTunes "Single of the Week" Review

Welcome, readers! It's time for the iTunes Single of the Week Review.

This week's "Single of the Week:" Black Heart Queen by Gallows.

[iTunes writers' words follow . . .]

Brace yourself for the uncompromising English metal / punk of Gallows. "Black Heart Queen" is fueled by a contagious, spitting anger and playing with a fury that recalls classic early '80s hardcore mixed with the melodic heaviness of newer acts like Funeral for a Friend and Bullet for My Valentine. Not for the meek.

My review:

I'm fortunate to live in the Boston area (for many reasons), and thereby am lucky to have radio access to WAAF's Mike Hsu, recognized nationally as one of the most knowledgeable DJs when it comes to heavy metal. I'm not a huge fan of the genre, but only because there's far too few diamonds and way too much rough. When it's good, it's great. When it's bad, it sucks.

Despite what the iTunes writers claim, Gallows is not punk. No no no. The Ramones are punk. Gallows is heavy metal. And furthermore, they are far more reminiscent of Scissorfight than Funeral for a Friend. The comparison, frankly, is downright laughable. It's like saying Godsmack sounds like 311. To illustrate the point, listen to Black Heart Queen and then listen to Scissorfight's "Victory over Horseshit." They sound very similar, no?

Hard core, head-slamming chords by guitarists Laurent Barnard and Steph Carterand backed by a kick-ass drummer Lee Barratt make "Black Heart Queen" a definite keeper.

*** 1/2

iTunes Library Result:
KEPT
... and I want to hear more ...

Weekly iTunes "Single of the Week" Review

Welcome, readers! It's time for the iTunes Single of the Week Review.

This week's "Single of the Week:" Bubbly by Colbie Caillat.

[iTunes writers' words follow . . .]

Colbie Caillat has the sound of breezy California down pat. She grew up in Southern California close to the beach and the catchy sweetness of "Bubbly" practically smells of salt water. A little bit of folk guitar, a lilting rhythm, and lyrics that tread on the border of cute make this track a mandatory anthem for summer.

My review:

* 1/2

Imagine Norah Jones trying her damndest to write a song like Jack Johnson, such as "Bubble Toes." There. Now you know exactly how "Bubbly" sounds. Average insipid lyrics, an average voice, and an equally average acoustic guitar adds up to be, well, an average sounding pop song. The bit of uninspired scatting should have been left on the production floor. Who knows? Maybe she'll improve with time.

iTunes Library Result:
KEPT
(but likely never to be sought in the iTunes Library intentionally)

Weekly iTunes "Single of the Week" Review

Welcome, readers! It's time for the iTunes Single of the Week Review.

This week's "Single of the Week:" 125 Pt. 3 (Connections) by Joell Ortiz featuring Gab Gotcha, Graph, Stimuli & Ras Kass

[iTunes writers' words follow . . .]

Just like the other famous Ortiz, this Big Papi dreams of big hits. Brooklyn-based MC Joell Ortiz shows that the demise of New York hardcore rap has been greatly exaggerated. "125 Pt. 3" is loaded with guests (Gab Gotcha, Graph, Stimuli, and Rass Kass) blazing the microphone with no hooks, no gimmicks, and no trendy dances — just street-level poetry. Ortiz has been linked with Dr. Dre's Aftermath label and he's about to blow up, so download "125 Pt. 3" now and get familiar.

THE REVIEW:
I can't figure out how to give a song negative two stars.

Uh, wow. I'm not a big rap fan, but I have a few in my library. I'm trying really really hard to find something nice to say about this song. The secondary rapper on this song is better than Joell. The tune has a nice backup singer. Umm ... oh, screw it. That's about it. This song fucking sucks. It makes me want to shove an ice pick into my ear.

iTunes Library Result:
DELETED

First Weekly iTunes "Single of the Week" Review

I'm a huge fan of music, spanning all genres (except for country, which is for inbred idiots). As such, my opinion is more important than anybody else's.

From now on I will review the iTunes Single of the Week in a hundred words or less. Usually much less. And I'll give it a rank from one to five CDs (until such time when the next new physical music delivery system becomes popular) represented by asterisks *****. Another little rule before we get going. I'll add a link to the band if they've bothered to create a Wikipedia entry, otherwise they can go pound sand. Oh, okay, if I think they're really good I might find them on Google for you. Otherwise, you're on your own.

Without further ado, I give you the first of a new weekly installment on Don's Blog, the iTunes "Single of the Week Review."

This week's "Single of the Week:"
[iTunes writers' words follow . . .]

"Autumn Cannibalist" is the new single from Toronto-based melodic punk-metal outfit Die Mannequin. They're a great live band currently touring with Deftones, and have quite a few fans around our office. That's why we picked them for our latest free Single of the Week.

THE REVIEW:
* 1/2

Don't you hate reviewers which use "half" rating systems? What, you couldn't f*ing decide between integers?

The combination of discordant opening riffs and a female lead singer can only lead to one of two destinations ... awesomeness or Suckville. Die Mannequin, taking into account the worst band name since Itchy Nipple, is on the road to Suckville.

Kudos to a decent drummer. Aside from that, they suck. It's like The Donnas, but with poorer insturmentalists and vocals.

iTunes Library Result:
DELETED