Hello. Again.

It's been a long, long time since I've contributed to this blog. I'm feeling the need to start again.

That's It

No, don't freak out family and friends. I'm merely putting this blog to bed.

Heart Attack in a Can

Those with whom I've spent any substantive time know that I'm not a health nut. Far from it. Due to my family history I'm going to die of a heart attack before I'm 70, which would frankly be a miracle if I last that long. Thereby I admit that this posting is absurd.

I enjoyed delicious home made chicken noodle soup last night (no, you silly reader, I didn't make it). It was frickin' awesome. Instead of spooning up mouthful after mouthful of salty water, I was rewarded with scoops of (shocking!) chicken and noodles.


Aside from the palpability of each spoonful, I was shocked by the flavor. It wasn't like drinking salt water. I could actually taste the hunks of chicken, crunched the carrots, and enjoyed the pasta.

I base my chicken noodle soup experience on eating Campbell's. The little chewy morsels of meat are closely related to the chunks of muscle that's attached to the shells which are found on ... well ... mussels. The noodles are sparse and limp. The vegetables in Cambpell's are nearly non-existent.

Then I had home made chicken noodle soup. The difference was amazing.

So what's this got to do with the morbid topic of keeling over with a heart attack?

Well, the first thing I noticed about home made chicken noodle soup was that it wasn't salty. A few minutes of research results in these facts. Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup contains 890mg of Sodium. That's 50% of the FDA's daily allowance in one serving. I just saw on CNN a couple of days ago that *shock* lowering my salt intake by half could produce health benefits on par with reducing high cholesterol or smoking.

Hmmmmm ... bacon, salt, or smoking. How to choose?

Holy heart attack, Batman. Add that to all the chips, bacon, beer, pistachios . . .

It's a wonder I haven't dropped dead yet.

My Vote Counted

For the first time in my entire life, my vote counted in a senatorial race. I was accustomed to shuffling into the voting booth, casting my pointless 19% stake in trying to unseat Kerry and/or Kennedy, and feeling like I wasted my time.

I'm still in shock that the voters of Massachusetts, often called "the most liberal state in the country," elected Scott Brown.

Sketchy Santas

Merry Christmas, everybody! Here are some hilarious pictures of sketchy Santas. *shudder*

Jenny Gets Gold!

My buddy Jeff and I attended the Special Olympics equestrian event today to cheer on his sister Jenny. It was wonderful to see her face light up when she saw Jeff. I think it's really cool that she always greets me with a big smile and a bright "Hi Donnie!"

Jenny was very proud of her gold and silver medals. Me too.

Aquifer

I recently used the word "aquifer" in a conversation. The person with whom I was speaking stopped me mid-sentence and accused me of making up a word. I was honestly puzzled, so much so that I had absolutely no idea about which word I was being accused of creating.

Aquifer.

Be honest, please. Consider this a scientific study. Do you know what aquifer means, and if not then do you think I'm an asshole for using it in polite discourse?