The End of the Internet

It's official. I've reached the end of the Internet. An answer to a question on today's edition of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me was this site.

Has the Internet finally reached the apex of absurdity? Do I really need a website to remind me when the women in my life are having their periods? FFS. Wow.

I'm torn between the urge to either high-five or punch the founders of this site in the face. *shrug* I'll err on the side of creativity and wish them well.

PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on "that time of the month" - when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all.

For women, this is a great way to give people in your life a heads-up of when you might be feeling a bit irritable without having an awkward conversation.

What's more, we will not only keep you informed, but will give you some free advice on what to do about it. With PMSBuddy.com, there is no reason to ever be blindsided by PMS again.

And all is well with the world . . .

My prayers to God (Peter Gammons) have been answered. Cappy's coming back.

A Tour of My Library

While I appreciate the wonderment and reverence of Steven Levy's words describing my library in Wired magazine, my name is not Jay Walker.

Oh, fine. So it's not my library. But a guy can dream! You should read about Walker's library to learn about the eclectic assortment of items and tomes. A few of my favorites are Sputnik, some Chaucer, and the Enigma code machine. Wow. Should I ever be forced to be locked in a room for a year, this would be the one.

Four Chords, 36 Songs

There are only so many chords, but there are countless thousands of popular songs. However, I had never thought it possible that these particular four chords are the melodic foundation for so many tunes. A bit of a warning . . . there's an "f-bomb" at the end of the video.



A nod to Cathy for the video!

The 'Flying Car' Is (almost) Here

According to this story, a local (Boston area) company is "to begin flight tests this year of a two-seater airplane that moonlights as a car."

Cool.

Apparently this is no joke, nor "maybe one day" dream. Founded by MIT students, Terrafugia claims to have deposits "for more than 40 of the vehicles." They ain't cheap. The story says owning one will set you back $194,000.

The company's site states the vehicle will have a range of about 460 miles on just 20 gallons of regular unleaded gas, and a cruising speed of over 100 miles per hour.

Anybody care to give me $194,000?

Top 10 Worst Super Bowl Teams

If you're not a sports fan, save yourself the time and close this window.

Still with me? Cool. Here's an interesting article which lists the top 10 worst Super Bowl teams to make it to the big game. The Patriots make an appearance ... twice. I can't argue with either of the listings. I clearly remember watching the Pats versus Bears train wreck, and not being able to turn my head despite a strong urge to vomit.

Oh, and speaking as a Patriots fan, I'm disgusted that a crappy 9-7 team (which the Patriots utterly demolished) from the Pee Wee NFC gets to play in the Super Bowl. To be fair, the Steelers beat us fair and square ... but the Patriots were 11-5, and in a "normal" year we would have made the playoffs. Enough bitching, whining, and sour grapes. *pounding forehead on my desk in frustration*

Go Cardinals. Beat the snot out of the Steelers and get that elusive championship for which you've been waiting for over six decades, Arizonians! But let's face it . . . the Cards will be stomped into a little moist spot on the turf. They aren't even close to the talent of the Steelers. Maybe Warner and his butchy wife can pray for the Big G to intervene on the Cardinals' behalf.

Re-Post, So Sue Me

I cannot stop listening to it. I just can't. It's musical heroin. Every time I hear it, it only makes me want to hear it again -- but louder. My ears are bleeding due to the volume, and my throat is hoarse from singing along.

Come Back, Tek

Fair warning. This is a post written by a fervent Red Sox fan.

Jason Varitek is perhaps the greatest defensive catcher or all time. Seriously. Nobody disputes that fact ... competitors, fans of every team, sports broadcasters, Hall of Famers, managers, and even fellow catchers. I'm not going to bore you with stats about his defensive prowess, so suffice it to say that a no-hitter is an extremely rare event. He's called the pitches and racked up the most in the history of the game. Equally important, he's a true leader. He will always be there to protect his team mates. Yes, your mind just flashed to Cappy getting into A-Knob's face).

Let me get to the point. This morning I said to a friend of mine "Varitek is kicking himself in the ass with the benefit of hindsight for not agreeing to arbitration. He was stupid for listening to [his agent] Scott Boras and holding out for a long-term deal."

Imagine my glee upon reading the article in today's edition of the Boston Globe. Here are the salient points, quoted and heavily edited into one paragraph.

Varitek requested the meeting [at Jason's home with Red Sox owner John Henry], an unusual development during a negotiating season typically dominated by agents. Boras could not be reached for comment, but it seems highly unlikely he would encourage a client to meet with any team without his presence, particularly at this stage of free agency. Had Varitek accepted [arbitration], he probably would have garnered a one-year deal worth $10 million to $12 million. Given the downturn in the market in the offseason, Varitek seems hard pressed to end up with even a one-year deal approaching anything near $10 million.

Jason is the captain of the Red Sox, an extremely rare honor which he did not seek nor accept willingly. He is the heart and soul of the team, and frankly I would be disgusted and saddened to see him wearing another uniform .... and just downright depressed if he should retire.

Come back, Cappy. Take a two year deal and go to the Hall of Fame wearing a Red Sox uniform.

"Stand By Me" -- Playing For Change

This is so awesome that it gave me goosebumps. Listen, and sing along loudly as if nobody can hear you.

From the award-winning documentary, "Playing For Change: Peace Through Music", comes the first of many "songs around the world" being released independently. Featured is a cover of the Ben E. King classic by musicians around the world adding their part to the song as it travelled the globe. This and other songs such as "One Love" will be released as digital downloads soon; followed by the film soundtrack and DVD early next year.

Sign up at www.playingforchange.com for updates and exclusive content.

Join the Movement to help build schools, connect students, and inspire communities in need through music.

NASA's Space Balloon

I don't know why this article fascinated me as it did. Ever since I've read about NASA successfully testing a super-high altitude (110,000 feet) balloon, it's been the proverbial popcorn husk stuck between my molars.

NASA says it's far cheaper (and reusable) than sending up a satellite. I find something about this balloon project to be inexplicably creepy, silent and cold hovering at the edge of space while tethered to the ground.

What I find really intriguing are other potential uses for the technology, such as perhaps fixing a rigid triangular frame to three equidistant balloons and using it as an "elevator" from which traditional space vehicles could be launched into higher orbit. Methinks (perhaps incorrectly) that the first 60,000 for a traditional launch vehicle is the most dangerous, technically difficult and fuel-intensive part of the mission.

"110,000th floor please, sir. Then I'll take it from there."

Details straight from people far smarter than the average bear can be found here.

Wal-Mart Surprise

Did you know that if you buy a vacuum at Wal-Mart that it might be mislabled? Be careful, gentle reader. You might have unintentionally purchased a VacBot!

F*cking with spammers, part three

*sigh*

I don't think they took the bait. Perhaps I was a wee bit too snarky in my original message? I've just sent the following message to our dear business partner. My bet is that he's not going to reply. Should we start this experiment all over again with a new SPAMmer and, this time, play dumb?

Dear Honorable Revered Barrister Xxxxx Xxxxxx:

It has been nearly a full day, or in other words 24 hours and into the year 2009 in the Year of Our Lord A.D., since I sent you a reply.

My clients are tingling with anticipation. Please honor us with your next message. Our pockets are busting with eagerness, brother.

Most Sincerely,
Richard Cranium

F*cking with spammers ... here we go!

Regular readers of this blog will recall that I proposed we have some fun f*cking with a SPAM scammer. Thank each and every one of the dozens of readers which posted comments with a resounding "go for it." Interestingly, only one person recommended against it. Anyway ... I've obviously chosen to reject posting any of your comments, solely for the purpose of protecting you from any ramifications. While I don't see how it would be possible for this little exercise to bite you in the proverbial ass, let's err on the side of caution!

Here's my opening salvo. It is my sincere hope that you have your Sense of Humor Hat firmly upon your head when you read my opening salvo, and know full well that there are many opportunities for this jerk to bail out merely by deciphering what I'm calling him from the name I've chosen to refer to myself.

Dear Barrister xxxxx xxxxxx:

I have received your e-mail dated December 23, 2008. Please accept my apologies for not responding sooner, as our offices were closed for the Christmas and New Year holiday. We also had a nasty infestation of rats, which I'm glad to report has been rectified.

You mentioned in your e-mail that you have a client interested in investing in my country. May I surmise that you mean the United States? If so, I am in the position to help your client.

My organization, the USA Limited Partnerships Ltd. USA of America North America, invests millions of dollars each year on behalf of businessmen and businesswomen (although they can't really be trusted because they're women) across the world. We do not except proposals from Lithuania nor Peru.

Please let me know about your client, their investment needs, and when I can come meet you. Or you can come here. I like beer, and would be honored to show you the American tradition of drinking a beer "shotgun" style. Please bring a ball point pen when you grace my residence with your presence.

All of the best,
Richard Cranium