25 Awesomely Bad Pop Culture Tattoos

I received a link from a buddy to Maxim Magazine's 25 Awesomely Bad Pop Culture Tattoos. What were these people thinking?

Shame on You

Hold onto your hats.

I can't keep it inside anymore. This started out as a two-sentence response to something I read tonight.

And now it's evolved into a tome. This post exceeds 10,000 words -- crushing any previous post -- but I hope emphasizes how strongly I feel about how badly our society has gone off track.

Someone I hold dearly posted a truly genuine and touching plea to contact politicians about the draconian cuts to a program within the Massachusetts budget, and how it will directly impact my friend's family. Aside from this friend, there are another two other people in my little universe who will be touched by this and similar cuts.

I get it. I really do. And thereby my gut reaction was one of sadness. Then after a moment of contemplation I got frustrated, disappointed and eventually angry.

While I wanted to reply in the comments section of the blog which instigated these thoughts, I feared my words would have been misconstrued as unsympathetic. But nothing could have been farther from the truth. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought "shame on you."

Yes, you. Shame on you.

It doesn't matter in which state you live, but especially Massachusetts.

It's got nothing to do with any one particular issue. None at all. In fact, you pick a subject. Go ahead. Name it. Any subject about which you care. Whatever. The environment, education, the arts, transportation, whales, green energy, cancer research, homelessness .... anything. It's not the point at all.

After reading the blog I felt a crushing disappointment about how we, collectively, as citizens of Massachusetts are about to hurt people that need, deserve, and depend on the support which our society provides.

It is your fault.

Yours.

Shame on you. It's my fault too. I haven't been as vociferous as I could have been.

It's all of us.

We continue to elect -- seemingly mindlessly and without effort nor care -- power hungry politicians that continue this spiral of shame. If we have reason to complain, then each and every one of us need to look in the mirror and accept responsibility. For some reason we have failed to force politicians to accept term limits and forgotten the Jeffersonian concept that our governmental representatives should be gentlemen farmers.

You are now reaping what you've sewn.

Let's face it. Last-minute pleas for assistance are futile and are a waste of our collective political energy. Borrowing my teenage son's words, "don't hate the player, hate the game." Get involved before your interests are on the cutting block. Use that political time to make a difference.

[Author's note ... the person giving me the creative spark to write this post has been an absolute monster about being involved and engaged on a public and governmental level. I'm talking to the rest of you who get pissed off from time to time.]

So what exactly is my point, you ask? Glad you did. My point is that I'm thinking about my experiences growing up and now raising kids in Massachusetts. The services with which we are provided today were always available (for the most part), but without the gnashing of teeth over budget woes. Massachusetts taxes are relatively in line [23rd in tax burden at just under 10%] with other states, yet today more than ever you'll hear citizens use the term "Taxachusetts."

My son wants to participate in high school soccer next year. While I am biting my tongue so hard that it's bleeding about his choice of sports, that's fine. Maybe I'll get him a tattoo and a motorcycle for his impending 17th birthday. I digress.

Here's what really pisses me off, and I'm sorry for that grammatical train wreck. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars for him to KICK A FRICKIN' BALL AROUND ON A FIELD. Are you kidding me? Seriously? Really?

I sincerely want to know. Please tell me why this should cost me hundreds of dollars, and why this used to be an included portion of my town's educational program merely three years ago.

There are literally millions of people around the world who are, at this very exact moment, kicking anything even remotely spherical toward an ambiguously-shaped square representing a goal. For free. For the fun of it. And I have to pay $250 to watch a bunch of 17-year-old boys kick each other in the shins over a shiny new Nike soccer ball? Really? Are you f*ing kidding me? I am f*ing shocked and wicked pissed off.

Goodness gracious ... I just realized that I don't have the self-control to hold back what will surely be the Old Grumpy Man persona to which I swore I would never succumb.

Where did Massachusetts go so wrong? How did we spiral so wildly out of control? Why are paying for all these things which used to be just accepted as part of life "back in the day?"

I now pay $400 a year for garbage disposal (and that's not for curb-side pick up .... I have to f*ing bring it there myself and pretend to f*ing "recycle" under the watchful eye of the uni-brow Dump Witch). That used to be included in my taxes until a few years ago. I have to pay $300 for my kid to ride the f*ing bus to school. That used to be included until a few years ago. But what a bargain at $500 for two kids to take the bus! Yippee!

This year I'll have to pay $50 to swim in our town's lake. That is perhaps the most ridiculously infuriating slap in the face. It's a God-given right to swim in any lake you'd like, wherever you are in the world, never mind the fact it's a lake in my own damn town. Thoreau is surely rolling over in his grave. FFS ... I have to pay to let my kids splash around in a glorified septic tank?!

I'm now paying $7,000 a year in property taxes on a $350,000 house in 2009. It was $4,700 in 2003. Where is all this f*ing money going? I always vote "NO" loud and clear on spending increases. F*ing learn how to live within a budget, people!

Hey, it all adds up to only $200 a month. So what's the big deal?

But listen to me very, very carefully. Please. I beg you to keep this in mind when you step into a voting booth, answer a pollster's phone call, and for all of humanity's sake before you write to an elected public official.

$200 a month is a LOT of money to your fellow citizens. A lot. I dare venture that I should have said "most" instead of "a lot."

It's okay if you just squinched up your face and thought "Really? It's only $200!" Really, it's fine. It's not derogatory. Good for you! Really. I'm not kidding nor being sarcastic. High five. Seriously, I wish I were you.

Deval Patrick is perhaps the worst governor in the history of Massachusetts. Don't even get me started about all of the corrupt groupie/zombie "yes sir" Democrats on the Hill. Tax. Spend. Make cuts on things that really matter. Go ahead. That leaves more money for our esteemed Governor Patrick "wiring a $175,000 job for an early political supporter," although the position had been deemed unneeded and thereby vacant for over a decade.

Tax some more, but don't call it a state-wide "tax." Make more painful cuts on things that really matter, which impact the quality of life for families. Let's lower support to the towns! Great idea! Spend some more on things to keep the Democrats in control of the purse strings. Bribery and bra stuffing. Influence peddling. Toll collectors earning $90,000. More taxes! Wheeeeeeeee! Who cares about anybody outside of the elite Route 128 belt ... let's face it ... they're all hicks and farmers. They are "those whom we support with our incomes [in metro Boston]."

Oooh! Here's another good idea while we're spending more money! Let's do a study to support the concept that we should, in our almighty moral authority, make it illegal for people to enjoy tasty food prepared with trans fats! Thank you, Mr. and Ms. Stalin for saving me! I don't mind about spending the estimated $250,000 to reach the conclusion that I'm too stupid to take care of myself while dining in Brookline!

Tax some more. Spend some more. The Massachusetts Turnpike Authority. $150,000 "board members" and their 90% retirement plans ... at the ripe old age of 42 ... for the rest of their lives. Tax. Spend. Make cuts on things that really matter. Multi-million dollar high schools built in the lock-step methodology of the "McMansions." Tax. Spend. Heck, we'll throw a million your way because we think you're cute out there in Shrewsbury.

Here's a f*cking recommendation. Make cuts on things that don't matter. Put that money toward what the citizens say are important. Let us decide how to spend our own money. We are the people, we are the government, we won't be ignored like children as the Massachusetts House of Representatives would like us to be.

I think I just answered my own question about how we've gone so wrong. The citizens of Massachusetts need to throw a bucket of cold water over their heads and realize why we've (until recently) historically elected some great Republican governors. With a nearly unanimous Democratic House of Representatives and a sickeningly incompetent Democratic governor, things are becoming a mess and getting worse every day. A one-party system just doesn't work.

Regardless if you're a life-long Democrat, Republican, Independent, Socialist, Libertarian, or whatever ... this is a serious problem. I vote. I vote independently, intelligently, and with my kids' future in mind. I dare you to say the same.

Let me solve everybody's woes and worries right here, right now. Set a tax rate of X%. That's what we have available to spend. Spend it however we the citizens decide to spend it (since our Democratic representatives choose to ignore and over-ride our votes regarding taxes, this might take a bit of force for them to understand). And then that's that. There is no more money. None. Deal with it.

Now that it's been settled .... let's take a look at our needs. Do you know of a particular program which would benefit people like my friends? Who need our collective help? Yes? Great! Call your representative and your senator. Tell them to fund these programs by cutting the waste.

If you're just reading this and then close the window while thinking "hmmm ... that was interesting .... I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts now," well then go f*yourself. No wonder there's a sad and shocking series of budget cuts looming on the horizon. Our money's being pissed away because the majority of Massachusetts citizens don't give a shit and vote for the name they know instead of the causes about which they care.

Shame on you if you're one of them.
Good for you if you actually care.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

Good job, sir! You punched me well.

Stan Grossfeld/Boston Globe

This is a picture of New York Islander Tim Jackman and the B's Shane Hnidy going at it. I had to laugh about the quote from Jackman. "It was a good battle and a good rest for five minutes. He said, 'Good job,' and I said, 'Good job to you.' It was a tough battle."

Huh. How about that? Personally, I don't think my buddy LB would say such a thing right after beating the crap out of somebody. But I'd betcha he'd buy his opponent a beer after the game.

Who Played "Uncle Owen" in Star Wars?

Obscure questions such as this often arise whilst you're downing a pint with the lads and lassies at a pub. Of course it's likely that the correct answer will determine who pays for the next round of drinks.

Do you know about Cha Cha? Yes, Cha Cha. It's a ridiculous name, but a brilliant web and text service. Enter your question on the web, or send a text from your cell phone to "chacha" (242242) and within a minute or two, presto — you have the answer. It's free of charge.

Keep in mind that the answers may not be correct and/or defendable. It all depends on how you ask your question. Is it factual or opinion? If you text Cha Cha the following message "Who played 'Uncle Owen' in Star Wars," you'll very quickly get the reply "Phil Brown."

If you ask "What's more reliable: a belt-driven or shaft-driven motorcycle drivetrain," you'll get an answer which is ambiguous and, well, worth the money you paid for it: "Shafts are less prone to break, but belt driven had better durability and replicability."

Hmmm. Clearly the cubicle drones (and at-home workers) for Cha Cha are instructed to answer quickly and not accurately. I understand the business model. For the record, shaft drives are proven to be over 372% more durable than belts, and replaceable in less than half the time than a belt. *cough* But then again, I'm biased because Val is a shaft-drive bike.

Okay ... I'm wrapping up this post. Put "chacha" (242242) into your cell phone's address book. When the gauntlet has been thrown down onto your local pub's bar, excuse yourself for a bathroom break to "think about it," ask Cha Cha while facing the urinal, then swagger back to your competitor with confidence.

Free Venom Energy Drink

Who knows? Maybe it's tasty. Even if it's disgusting, you can't beat free. Get your two bottles by clicking on this link. And of course you already know you should use a Mailinator address to protect your inbox from SPAM.

Yet Another Reason the Red Sox Are Awesome

If you don't live in Boston, then it may be difficult to understand how deeply connected a sports team can be with the populace of a geographic region. Read that carefully. Not fans-to-team, but team-to-fans.

I think that most people in Green Bay (football) or Buffalo (hockey) get it. To a lesser extent, there are certainly respectfully dedicated franchises and fans -- the Yankees in New York, the Lakers in Los Angeles, and the Cowboys in Dallas come to mind. I'll add to the list the Ohio State Buckeyes in Columbus to include collegiate sports.

But even in these cities, there are many people in the area who just don't care about their team.

Not so in Boston.

I postulate that there is no other city in America that is connected to a sports team like Boston is to the Red Sox, and how connected the Red Sox are to Boston. If you were to conduct a random survey here, I'd bet that more than 80% of respondents would say that they are a fan, and better than half could tell you how many games ahead/behind the Red Sox are in the American League East.

Some major league players wither under the intense spotlight of playing for Boston. They find the scrutiny annoying. They want to play, take a paycheck, and go home. You simply can't expect do that here in Boston. Players know and must deal with the fact that the Red Sox are often the lead story in our newspapers and on our television newscasts. For cryin' out loud, even the members of the Celtics, Bruins, and Patriots get it.

Fenway has been sold out for every single game in the last six years. Six years! Even when it's a midweek game and the competition is a crappy bottom-feeding National League team, there are no tickets available.

I humbly offer the following screen shot of the e-mail I received tonight as another example of how connected the Red Sox are to New England. It's like a family. John Henry, Tom Werner, and Larry Luccino understand. While I don't know these guys personally (obviously, or I'd be able to afford tickets), I'd like to believe that they aren't merely brilliant businessmen but truly comprehend what the Sox mean to the millions of citizens of Red Sox Nation.

They get it. So do all the people in this video clip.

Creepy, Yet Fascinating Pictures of Hitler

LIFE Magazine's "Adolf Hitler, Up Close"

Between 1936 and 1945, German photographer Hugo Jaeger was granted unprecedented access to Adolf Hitler, traveling and chronicling, in color, the Fuhrer and his confidants at small gatherings, public events, and, quite often, in private moments. Here, and in several other galleries on LIFE, we present never-before-published and rare photographs from Jaeger's astonishing -- and chilling -- collection.

Jaeger's story -- and the story of how LIFE came to own his photographs of Hitler -- is nothing short of astonishing. In 1945, when the Allies were making their final push toward Munich, Jaeger found himself face to face with six American soldiers in a small town west of the city. During a search of the house where Jaeger was staying, the Americans found a leather suitcase in which Jaeger had hidden thousands of color photo transparencies. He knew he would be arrested (or worse) if the Americans discovered his film and his close connection to Hitler. He could never have imagined what happened next.

The American soldiers threw open the suitcase that held the Hitler images. Inside, they found a bottle of cognac that Jaeger had placed atop the transparencies. Elated, the soldiers proceeded to share the bottle with Jaeger and the owner of the house. The suitcase was forgotten.

After the Americans left, Jaeger packed the transparencies into 12 glass jars and buried them on the outskirts of town. In the years following the war, Jaeger occasionally returned to his multiple caches, digging them up, repacking, and reburying them. He finally retrieved the collection for good in 1955 -- 2,000 transparencies, all of them, amazingly, still in good shape -- stored them in a bank vault, and in 1965 sold them to LIFE. To date, only a fraction of the Jaeger collection has been published.

To see larger versions and read explanatory captions of the pictures in the below viewer, click this link.

Time Out

Doesn't everybody own the Dave Brubeck Quartet masterpiece "Time Out?"

Imagine my surprise when today on NPR they had an interview with the ancient Dave Brubeck regarding the 50th anniversary of the album's release. It was about his revolutionary merging of jazz and blues.

Something meaningless like that. Whatever. Oh, and it was also about him being the first musician to make a huge meteoric crater on the scene by utilizing 5/4 time.

I seriously hope that you get my sarcasm.

Joe Morello is a god amongst percussionists. Please forgive me, Steve Gadd, but you'll probably agree ... you're a demigod, so it's cool. Joe was revolutionary. Awesome. Brilliant. Wonderful.

Here's my point. The tone of the interview was one which led listeners to believe that "Time Out" is a long-forgotten album.

Bullshit.

Everybody knows Take Five. Everybody.

I encourage you to wrap your ears 'round the best song on the album, Pick Up Sticks. Listen to Joe doing what he does best. Listen to Gene Wright walking up and down the stand-up bass. Seriously. Can you think of someone else from the era that played like that? Well, I can think of two, but not in jazz.

Click the links to these songs and feast your ears. Then again, clicking these links is pointless because you already own this album.

Right?

Ye Olde Aeronautics

You already know how much I dig history (both recent and ancient), and also that I'm a technology buff.

You may also know that getting a pilot's license is one of the three things remaining on my Top Ten List of Things to Do before I Die. Aeronautics rock. I want to line up a runway while I'm skewed by a 20 MPH crosswind and have to crab it in. Yep. I do.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent. CNET posted a really nifty collection of photographs and blurbs about the 1950s X15.

I often think that I should have been born 'round 1930 and hitting my stride in the late 40's. What a time to have been alive! Men wore suits and hats, women wore skirts and heels, and it was the golden age of opportunity in America. *sigh*

Scott Crossfield must have had huge cojones.

Ego sum superbus meus filius.

Here's a self-explanatory image. My son is wicked pissah smaht. I'm now officially afraid to have him determine the accuracy of the Latin phrase I had tattooed onto my body last year. Yikes. My Latin is way rusty. Ego operor non narro Latin puteus iam. Question mark?

Red Sox

The Red Sox are kicking the Yankees' asses this year, 8-0, and I'm thrilled.

The most recent series is made even sweeter because we beat their best. Wang. Burnett. Sabathia. Our bullpen has been nothing short of a firing squad (and this isn't just my opinion, even the jaded New York press agrees).

Look, part of me wants to wear my PR-guy hat and be diplomatic about this. I swear it to be true. But y'know what? Fuck that. We're 8-0 against the Yankees this year.

I just don't see how we can't win the World Series. We've beaten the living shit out of the second best team in the AL East, which is inarguably the toughest division in all of baseball. Don't even bring up the National League. Yeah, the Dodgers are up eight on San Fran. But that's like when the British kicked the snot out of Argentina in the "war" over the Falkland Islands.

I know it's irrational and somewhat immature to be so ecstatic. But so what? This is me. Allow me this tiny little piece of happiness, would you please?

Winslow Townson/AP

BlackBerry Versus iPhone

If you're a reader of this blog, then you already know I'm a Macfanatic. I'm biased (but smarter than you if you don't agree).

Pardon me while I applaud about the article in InfoWeek, an admittedly pro-PC publication, which says that it's time to bury the BlackBerry and get an iPhone.

Yes, it was Mac versus PC all over again: The iPhone was quickly pigeonholed as a fun, polished device for the cool kids to play with versus the RIM BlackBerry's rep as a corporate standard designed to get work done. As with the Mac-versus-PC dichotomy, Apple's focus on visual interface, exotic technologies like touch, and fun stuff (music, video, and games), coupled with its lack of "serious" capabilities such as encryption, let that perception take root as the conventional wisdom....

[But] how do they stack up? Frankly, I’ve concluded it’s time to bury the BlackBerry. A revolution in its time, thanks to its ability to provide instant, secure e-mail anywhere, the BlackBerry has become the Lotus Notes of the mobile world: It’s way past its prime.