School administrators in Newburyport Massachusetts have banned all sweets. No more happy children sharing cupcakes with their classmates on their birthday, no Twinkies in their lunch boxes, and no Halloween candy.
I could almost understand it if the school chose not to sell these items in the cafeteria, but who gives them the right to tell parents what they can or cannot include in their own children's lunches?
Sadly, Newburyport has joined a number of Orwellian towns in Massachusetts such as the People's Republic of Brookline that tells us we need to be protected from trans fats.
If my kids attended school in Newburyport, their lunches today would have been nothing else than Oreos, Starburst, Chips Ahoy, M&Ms, Ring Dings, and two cans of soda. Preferably something so obscenely sugary like Tahitian Treat or grape soda. I'd include a letter for presentation to whatever draconian administrator tried to confiscate their lunch. In that letter I'd declare that I and my children have a powerful belief in the holiness of sweet snacks. It's no more or less ridiculous than any other "religion" on the planet.
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3 comments:
I laugh in the face of you simple sugar god. The true way is Pastafarian. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodlely appendage find you brother.
It's a rarity that somebody's comment makes me literally laugh out loud. Well done, you heathen Pastafarian. *snort!*
OBBBBviously Don has never been around my boy with a box of Frosted Flakes. I saw a mother with a dozen heavily frosted cupcakes in my kid's class and I wanted to smack her. Let's be honest here... if I didn't like the teacher, then yes... give 30 kids massive amounts of sugar and let the good times roll.
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