I'm not a big fan of bearing facial hair. No, hold on a second ... let me be honest. I detest it. Facial hair itches, I find myself absent-mindedly pulling or scratching it, and I feel downright unclean. I'm often scruffy, but not downright hairy.
For the readers of this blog with facial hair (and I hope you're all men), I want to clarify that my bearded experience is my own. Some great men have proudly shown their beards. Abe Lincoln, Jason Varitek, and Jesus are merely three.
I don't know how they stand it.
About five years ago my buddy Mark from Oklahoma sent me a t-shirt featuring the "Okie Noodlin'" contest, an event which has gained some minor notoriety recently. Rednecks free dive in an attempt to seek out massive catfish, put their hands into their mouths, and pull them ashore. Fingers are frequently lost to the huge catfish, which often outweigh a 14-year-old boy.
As a return favor I grew a goatee and sent him a picture of myself imitating (to the best of my ability) an "Okie Noodlin'" contestant.
When the Red Sox beat the Indians to reach the World Series, I grew a "good luck goatee" in honor and support of the players with facial hair on the Sox roster ... Varitek, Lowell, Papi, and so forth.
Since we swept the Rockies in the Series, I decided to keep it for the Colts / Patriots game. I headed to Columbus Ohio this weekend to see my Buckeyes beat Illinios ... but then my goatee jou jou ran out.
Maybe it wasn't long enough to handle the load. Maybe more Ohio State players need facial hair. I dunno. I draw the line at growing dreadlocks.
Either way, I'm shaving the goatee off in the morning, and I can't wait.
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