F*ing with con artists, part deux

I think that my reply to yesterday's message from the con artist might be too much, too soon. *shrug* Bonus points if you pick up on the subtle verbal middle fingers I put forth, not just the obvious ones. There are many, and I admit to chortling repeatedly as I wrote it. The PR gland in my brain screamed repeatedly in protest.

Dear Diana:

Thank you SO much for letting me provide you with some more farther informations.


First name: Richard
Last name: Cranium
Street address: 1 Ashburton Place, Apt. #7
City: Boston
State: MA
Zip code: 02108
Home phone: The bastards turned off my SI Football phone! But there's a pay phone I can use at the pub to call you. If you wants to chattie me, then I need you to tell me when you want to call so I can get that selfish JERK off the phone. Barry's always hogging it to try to find a job this year. That bastard!

- Are you currently employed?

Yes I have a job. I'm a petrolium replensishem-ent technition at Cumbie's in Westford. The pay's terrible! But they don't get their gas from Chavez like the bastards across the street at Citgo! Ooooh .... big sign at Feway ... oooh! Like that makes me want to work there!

- Do you have any debt with any credit card company?

I have a LOT of det. That's why I am so happy to get a new job with American Express! I owe you guys $12,881.12, and the limit you put on me is almost there! You called me a few weeks ago and took away a lot of my limit, and now it's only $15,000. Why you bastards?! HA! LOL a lot! ALMOST ROTF! I'M A KIDDER! I always paid on time so really why did you take away some of my limit? It used to be $20,000. Oh, and also I am so so so so so so so so so sorry to say that I have a Vista card two. I owe those bastards $2,509.47 (but I sent them some monies yesterday or maybe it was Monday, so then my owed is something 'round $2,409.47 but I can never figure out how when I pay them $100 they still says I owe them the same amount but take away what I pade them plus the money they says i owe. Wait. I got confused. You know what I'm sayin', Diane? AnyHOO! That card has a LOT left of in, the stupid bastards! I can spend $7,000 on that one! Well not $7,0000 but whatever it iis the monies I owe after they get my $100 -- the bastards!

- If you owe money (credits) to several companies, please let us know

Oh nuts! I just writ the story of how much I owe. I can drag over that part and then do that "paste" thing here: I owe you guys $12,881.12, and the limit you put on me is almost there! You called me a few weeks ago and took away a lot of my limit, and now it's only $15,000. Why, you bastards?! HA! LOL a lot! ALMOST ROTF! I'M A KIDDER! I always paid on time, so really, why did you take away some of my limit? It used to be $20,000. Oh, and also I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry to say that I have a Vista card two. I owe those bastards $2,509.47 (but I sent them some monies yesterday or maybe it was Monday, so then my owed is something 'round $2,409.47 but I can never figure out why when I pay them $100 they still says I owe them the same amount but take away what I pade them plus the money they says i owe. Wait. I got confused. You know what I'm sayin', Diane? AnyHOO! That card has a LOT left of in, the stupid bastards! I can spend $7,000 on that one! Well not $7,0000 but whatever it iis the monies I owe after they get my $100 -- the bastards!

OK. I think that's all your questions. I am SO SO SO SO SO excited to start working! Whan do I get my first check for $1,200 per week? Are you going to send me business cards to hand out to my friends? Those bastards! Can I pleeeeease ask you to put a little picture of the Tazmanian Devlis on it too? LIke in the corner of the card -- but NOT NEAR the American Express guys! HA!

All my best,
Dick

P.S. I'm confused. Are you from the Mosli family or the Kestler families?