F*cking with spammers ... here we go!

Regular readers of this blog will recall that I proposed we have some fun f*cking with a SPAM scammer. Thank each and every one of the dozens of readers which posted comments with a resounding "go for it." Interestingly, only one person recommended against it. Anyway ... I've obviously chosen to reject posting any of your comments, solely for the purpose of protecting you from any ramifications. While I don't see how it would be possible for this little exercise to bite you in the proverbial ass, let's err on the side of caution!

Here's my opening salvo. It is my sincere hope that you have your Sense of Humor Hat firmly upon your head when you read my opening salvo, and know full well that there are many opportunities for this jerk to bail out merely by deciphering what I'm calling him from the name I've chosen to refer to myself.

Dear Barrister xxxxx xxxxxx:

I have received your e-mail dated December 23, 2008. Please accept my apologies for not responding sooner, as our offices were closed for the Christmas and New Year holiday. We also had a nasty infestation of rats, which I'm glad to report has been rectified.

You mentioned in your e-mail that you have a client interested in investing in my country. May I surmise that you mean the United States? If so, I am in the position to help your client.

My organization, the USA Limited Partnerships Ltd. USA of America North America, invests millions of dollars each year on behalf of businessmen and businesswomen (although they can't really be trusted because they're women) across the world. We do not except proposals from Lithuania nor Peru.

Please let me know about your client, their investment needs, and when I can come meet you. Or you can come here. I like beer, and would be honored to show you the American tradition of drinking a beer "shotgun" style. Please bring a ball point pen when you grace my residence with your presence.

All of the best,
Richard Cranium