Finally, a Creative Manny Article

I've read dozens of articles about Manny being traded to the Dodgers, and watched hours of television coverage. They melded into a cacophony of shrieking and puzzlement. They might have well all said exactly the same thing.

Today I found one viewpoint that was different. It's irreverent, humorous, and if you can get past the sarcasm, it summarizes what's on the minds of Red Sox fans today. And Theo.

Great work, Kevin Hench of FOXSports.com --

Imagine how the final, frantic conference call between the Dodgers, Pirates and Red Sox went down on Thursday.

Theo Epstein: So are we good?

Ned Colletti: Uh, I dunno, I'm not sure we can shell out for all of Manny's prorated salary.

Epstein: Okay. We'll eat it.

Colletti: How much?

Epstein: The whole thing.

Colletti: That's workable.

Epstein: Neal?

Neal Huntington: We don't want to throw in Grabow.

Epstein: No problem.

Huntington: But you'll still send us Brandon Moss and Craig Hansen?

Epstein: Yep.

Colletti: So, uh, just so we're clear, you're giving up Manny, seven mil cash, an outfield prospect who hit .291 in 103 big league at bats and a 24-year-old who throws 97.

Huntington: And of course the two compensatory picks you'd have gotten had you kept Manny.

Epstein: Uh, yeah.

Colletti: You know I could use a new Range Rover.

Epstein: Done.

Huntington: Man, you must be majorly motivated to get rid of that guy.

Epstein. No, no, we just really, really love Jason Bay. Had our eye on him ever since he hit .247 with a .745 OPS last year.

Fucking brilliant. Yes, I said it. Brilliant.